Love and Commitment
by ThominhoNalbyfan29
Summary: After Thorin Oakenshield and his company reclaim Erebor, Bilbo finally tells Thorin that he loves him only to be rejected. Bilbo is afraid he ruined their friendship but does Thorin return Bilbo's feelings? Thorin/Bilbo.


After Smaug had been killed and Erebor was reclaimed, there was a huge celebration. There was a lot of wine, music, dancing, and conversations going on in the ballroom.

Bilbo had danced with everyone, Dwalin, Balin, Fili, Oin, Dori, even poor Bombur who stepped on his feet about twenty times before the song was over and he was dancing with Kili.

"So, Bilbo," Kili said. "Enjoying the celebration?"

Bilbo nodded. "Quite a wonderful celebration, if I must say so myself." He looked over at Thorin, who he had managed to not dance with yet. He was actually dancing with Thranduil, which shocked Bilbo beyond belief, especially when the Elvenking moved his hand to Thorin's waist. Bilbo tensed in Kili's arms as he watched Thorin and Thranduil. He turned back to Kili after a few moments to see the dwarf grinning at him. "What?"

"You're in love with uncle," Kili observed.

Bilbo flushed bright red. "What? That's absolutely crazy - no I'm not!"

"Why did you tense up, then?" Kili asked him. "Don't think I didn't feel that."

Bilbo sighed in defeat, knowing he couldn't argue with that one. "Fine, all right? I love Thorin."

Kili squealed in excitement. "I knew it! I could help you out if you'd like."

"Oh, no, that's not necessary, really-" Bilbo stopped and looked back over at Thorin and Thranduil. Thranduil was speaking to Thorin in a low voice, his eyes glittering. He looked back at Kili. "So the plan?"

After a while of dancing, there was a slow song, and Bilbo felt Kili pull him into his arms. Thorin and Thranduil were dancing, too, and Bilbo and Kili made sure to move where the King under the Mountain could see them.

"This will never work," Bilbo hissed. "He'll never love me back."

"Uncle loves you, trust me," Kili whispered. "Ready to put Plan A into action, Boggins?"

Bilbo grinned mischievously, adrenaline coursing through his veins. By the end of tonight, Thorin could be his. "I'm glad you asked me to dance," he said loud enough for Thorin to hear, leaning closer to Kili.

Kili smiled and reached up, tangled a hand in Bilbo's short, curly hair. "You're beautiful, you know that?" Kili replied. Bilbo blushed, he knew Kili was just rehearsing the lines they'd repeatedly gone over but it felt so real. He was a really good actor, Bilbo had to give him credit for that much.

Bilbo managed a smile - knowing the pain he was probably causing Thorin, it hurt to continue this. But he did it anyway, he had to make sure Thorin returned his feelings. He leaned in so close to Kili that their noses touched, but Bilbo just couldn't bring himself to go on. "Bilbo, you can kiss me," Kili whispered. "It's fine - I know it's not a real kiss."

And Kili tried to lean in closer, but when Bilbo saw the pain in Thorin's eyes he pulled back and said loudly, "Wait! Stop! I can't do this."

"Bilbo?" Kili was looking at him, confused. Everyone was staring at them, including Thorin and Thranduil.

Bilbo sighed, knowing it was now or never. He had to confess his feelings to Thorin. This time, he would do it. He stepped out of Kili's arms and went over to Thorin, who released Thranduil and the Elvenking took a step back. "Thorin, I love you," Bilbo said. "I'm just going to come right out and say it - I love you, I've loved you ever since you hugged me after that incident with the Wargs and you...almost died..." Thorin was staring at him, his eyes full of such sadness that Bilbo guessed his feelings weren't reciprocated. "I knew then that I couldn't stand to lose you, and then in Mirkwood, I felt safe when I was with you, I didn't when I wasn't with you. I know we've kind of...been friends and then not been friends, and that it's been hard, and I'm sorry that I ruined what friendship we did have. I'm sorry, Thorin."

Their gazes met, and for a second Bilbo thought Thorin was going to say something, but instead he turned and rushed out of the room, leaving everyone staring at Bilbo as the King under the Mountain's footsteps echoed down the hall. Heartbroken, Bilbo stared after him, wondering if there would have been a different outcome had he just gone with his and Kili's original plan.

Bilbo turned to the watching crowd, and Kili's stunned expression. He blushed and said, "Well, this is a bit awkward, isn't it?"

* * *

Thorin wouldn't talk to him for days.

At first, he spent hours at the door of Thorin's bedchambers, knocking and pleading with him and trying to make deals with him if he'd only just come out and talk to him. "Don't shut me out," Bilbo sighed at one point on the first day, slumping down onto the floor. His palm was against the door made of gold, and he began to cry softly, but still Thorin wouldn't respond. "I'm still your friend. I'm still...I'm still here for you."

Bilbo couldn't bring himself to leave. He fell asleep with his back against the wall beside the door that night. At some point in the night, however, Thorin opened the door to see if Bilbo had left and looked down to see the sleeping hobbit on the floor. His heart lifted and he smiled, sinking to the floor to watch Bilbo. He was smiling in his sleep, and he looked beautiful.

Thorin went back into his bedchambers and grabbed a blanket, then came back out into the hall and carefully put the blanket on the hobbit. Bilbo stirred slightly and turned his head to face Thorin. "If only you knew," Thorin murmured, reaching out to touch Bilbo's face. His heart ached, ached knowing that in a parallel universe he and Bilbo were laying together, probably kissing and holding each other, and it was too much for Thorin to bear.

And then he noticed that Bilbo's eyes were open. "Thorin?" Bilbo said groggily.

"Bilbo," Thorin gasped, falling backwards onto the floor and then getting back up. "I - I was just-"

"Thorin, please, just talk to me." Bilbo was up in an instant, blocking the doorway before Thorin could get by.

"Infuriating hobbit," Thorin growled. "Get out of my way!"

"Not," said Bilbo, "until you tell me why you're shutting me out. What was that back there?"

Thorin stared at him. "I care about you, Bilbo," he said. "And you didn't ruin our friendship-"

"What's this, then?" Bilbo pointed out, glaring daggers at Thorin.

"It's me trying to save it," Thorin answered, pushing past the hobbit.

"We're not done here!" Bilbo shouted at him, but Thorin only slammed the door in his face. "And you're not doing a very good job of saving our friendship right about now!"

"I would lay off him just a bit, laddie," Balin advised, coming up to him. "Don't mean to be rude, but you know how he is."

Bilbo blushed. "Oh, Balin. You, um, you saw what happened."

"We all did," said Balin softly, glancing at Thorin's door.

Bilbo winced. "I embarrassed him tonight, didn't I?" he predicted.

Balin shook his head. "No, Bilbo, you didn't embarrass him," he reassured the hobbit. "He just needs time."

* * *

Bilbo was surprised when Thorin appeared at breakfast the next morning - shocked, really. He sat across the table from Bilbo, but he didn't say a word to Bilbo. "Thorin," Bilbo said, looking Thorin in the eyes as everyone else was eating. "Please."

Thorin stood abruptly, startling the hobbit as he pushed his chair away from the table. Before Bilbo or any of the dwarves could protest, Thorin stalked out of the room.

Anger filled Bilbo and he stood from his chair. "You stupid, stubborn, hotheaded dwarf!" he shouted. "You can't stay away from me and you know it!" He heard a door slam from down the hall, which seemed to echo through the large room and make it seem much louder over the silence.

Bilbo's vision blurred with tears, and he ran out of the room before any of his friends could see him cry.

* * *

"Bilbo?"

Bilbo lifted his head out of his pillow and sniffled. "Kili? What are you doing here?"

"Came to see if you were all right, of course," said Kili,

Bilbo tried in vain not to smile. "I'm not," he said. "Go away."

Kili laughed. "That's not going to happen, I'm afraid," he replied. "Brought you some hot tea," Kil informed him, holding out a mug that Bilbo just noticed.

Bilbo did smile this time, and he rolled onto his back and sat up. "This is really sweet of you, Kili," he said. "Thanks."

"It's nothing, really." But Kili was smiling as he plopped down onto the bed beside Bilbo. "Anything else I can do to help?"

Bilbo took a sip of the tea and shook his head. "All I want is for Thorin to love me, and he doesn't," he said, his voice breaking.

Kili swallowed. "I know Uncle Thorin loves you," he said softly, acting totally unlike himself. His mischievous smile was gone, his eyes filled with worry. "And if he doesn't then you're right, he is a stupid, stubborn, hotheaded dwarf."

Bilbo laughed. "Better not let Thorin hear you say that."

"Too late." Thorin was leaning against the open doorway, his arms folded. Bilbo's heart gave a leap and he couldn't form a word as hard as he tried.

Kili cleared his throat and slid off the bed, then left Bilbo and Thorin alone in the room. He turned and his mischievous smile came back as he closed the door behind Thorin.

"Can we talk, Bilbo?" Thorin said, sounding almost desperate as he sat down on the bed beside Bilbo. "Please - I'm sorry about everything, I really am, but it was necessary. I understand if you won't forgive me."

"_Necessary_?" Bilbo repeated, incredulous. "You stomping off last night, this morning, that was necessary? All I've ever done is wanted your attention, I loved you, I love you now and You. Don't. Love. Me!" Bilbo was shouting by now, he was shaking, and breathing heavily.

Thorin looked heartbroken. "Listen to me, Bilbo," he said. "You're a hobbit and I'm a dwarf. We have different ways of um...of..."

Bilbo was stunned, Thorin never stammered. Never. He blushed as he said, "What? Different ways of what. Spit it out, you big wimp." He was getting angrier by the minute.

Thorin just laughed. "Silly hobbit," he said. "I was going to say that we have different ways of courting."

Now it was Bilbo's turn to stammer. "C-C-Courting..." He trailed off and passed out in Thorin's arms.

* * *

Bilbo woke up to Thorin laughing at him. There was a cold wet rag on his forehead, and Bilbo's head was in Thorin's lap. "Is it a thing with hobbits in general," Thorin asked, "fainting a lot? Or is it just you?"

"Stop it, you," Bilbo laughed. He sat up, the rag falling off his head. "So...you've been trying to court me this whole time?" Thorin nodded. "How is breaking my heart a part of dwarf courting - or any courting?"

"Commitment," Thorin informed Bilbo, pulling the hobbit close. "As much as it broke my own heart to hurt you like that, I needed to know that you're ready to commit yourself to a relationship, especially one like this."

"I never know what you mean, Thorin," Bilbo sighed, a hint of a smile on his face.

Thorin touched his face gently. "I mean that I'm the King under the Mountain," he elaborated, "and I want you to rule by my side." Bilbo flushed and started stammering again, which made Thorin laugh. "My queen."

"Shut up," Bilbo laughed. "You're the one with the long hair."

Thorin's mouth fell open. "Take it back!"

"Never!" And then Thorin was on top of Bilbo - _tickling_ him, of all things - and Bilbo laughed until tears filled his eyes. "O-Okay Thorin. s-stop..."

"Say uncle," Thorin said, still laughing.

"F-Fili and Kili are your n-nephews, n-not me," Bilbo joked. Thorin raised an eyebrow and then Bilbo said, "Okay, uncle-mmph!" After releasing Bilbo, Thorin had pulled the hobbit into his arms again and kissed him on the lips. Bilbo gasped as his eyes widened and then closed. He couldn't believe Thorin was finally kissing him. Bilbo sat up and deepened their kiss, crawling into Thorin's lap as he wrapped his arms around the king's neck. Bilbo's heart raced in his chest as he kissed back and Thorin pushed his tongue past Bilbo's lips. They explored each other's mouths with their tongues before Thorin broke the kiss, both of them breathless. "Wow," Bilbo gasped and slid his hands down Thorin's chest. "Oh, wow."

Thorin chuckled softly. "I love you, Bilbo," he said.

"I love you too, Thorin," Bilbo agreed, kissing the dwarf softly. "Can we be together?"

Thorin nodded before pulling Bilbo into a deep kiss.

* * *

**AN: This may not be a oneshot, there will probably be one or two chapters left. Please R&R and tell me what you thought, if I should write more or if it would be better as a oneshot?**


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